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For almost the last decade, this has been my DJing site. I’m no longer DJing, at least not in public. I’m back to being a bedroom DJ. Technically, and to be precise for a moment, before I started DJing at weddings and parties here on the Costa del Sol, I was a spare room DJ. But we don’t have a spare room here, instead we have two small kids, human not goats. So, bearing in mind there’s also no room in our bedroom, strictly speaking, I’m a lounge DJ.

Not, I hasten to add, in a Scott Bradlee Post Modern Jukebox ‘lounge DJ’ kind of way, but as in that’s where I park my Traktor. I’m not going to even try to explain that if you don’t already know, except to say that the lounge is the physical location where those hexadecimal numbers turn into audio, at a rate of 44, 100 per second per channel or thereabouts. Try counting them, you’ll be impressed at the accuracy the MP4 format I usually use adheres to. Well it’s there, in the lounge that the hardware and software links with my MacBook Pro and my Native Instruments’ Controllers to make a sound that we call musicdespite what my mum would say about some of what passes for music today…

Whereas Lounge music is a type of easy listening music popular in the 1950s and 1960s, as played most magnificently by Henry Mancini, and indeed even today, through such proponents as the previously mentioned Mr Bradlee. Lounge Music can evoke in a listener the feeling of being in a place, usually with a tranquil theme, such as a jungle, an island paradise or outer space. Although, try telling an exhausted Rhesus monkey being chased by a pack of hyenas close to an enveloping operation that he, or she, should take the time to enjoy the tranquility of a lounge music jungle motif and hear him, or her, positively beg to disagree as they continue speeding through the trees, fleeing  for his, or indeed her, very life. They won’t thank you if you ask what gender they are either. Rhesus monkeys being particularly sensitive to questions around binary sexuality. No doubt after all those years in laboratories, he, or she, has found that one effective way to pass the long empty hours is to indulge in philosophical discussions with their fellow inmates, whether they be male, female, or other, about the very nature of gender and fluidity.

As I was saying, if you’re even able to hear the response of the monkey, let’s call it a he, over the sounds of those laughing hyenas, who according to Sir David Attenborough OM, CH, CVO, CBE, FRS, FLS, FZS, FSA, and national treasure, are likely to be a mixed unit, he won’t thank you for distracting him with any reference to the pleasantness of the notes swirling from your audio equipment of choice, (by the way, and purely as an aside, I recommend you choose equipment wisely, to survive the rigours of the jungle’s heat and, arguably more importantly, humidity, if you’re planning on becoming a Jungle DJ )

If, by some mix of Usain Bolt-like  speed with the low cunning that many, including Sir David, OM etc, would attribute to that oft misunderstood mammal, the hyena, our little monkey made it back in one piece, then you could ask him, shall we call him Dave, what he thinks of lounge music. Dave might, once you’d given him time to catch his breath, tell you that he does indeed find lounge music to be tranquil, but not necessarily on all occasions an accurate reflection of the full range of music needed to describe what an outsider might call the varied atmospheres of somewhere like a jungle, be that jungle in places like Brazil, Borneo, India, Sri Lanka, Papua New Guinea, Indonesia or even if it is a rain forest or other kind of uncultivated land taken over by unkempt tropical vegetation.*

I’m not entirely sure how we (we?) came to mix Just a Minute with I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue. but I will add finally, by way of both tribute and homage and, dare I say it, the flattery of mimicry, to thank ISIHAC for the idea of a long and entirely pointless introduction to a self evident and remarkably bleeding obvious piece of information, and then rather cleverly follow that up by saying that whenever I DJ in the lounge, or indeed elsewhere throughout the other rooms, I often play one song at the tempo of another… (I thank you.)

I suspect Humph would have been suitably understated in his response. Three identical consonants, plus two others and two vowels,  and one space would have sufficed for him, accurately reorganised into two words that clearly say all that needs to be said. Hail, hail, Humphrey Littleton, a man of few letters, all of them as dry as a bone…


* (SFX: Whistle. Audience Applause.)

Nicholas Parsons: Speaking as the whistle sounded Clement Freud scores one point after what even for him was a particularly tedious list:  Well Clement, that takes you into third place equal with Graham Norton and Paul Merson. Stephen Fry is still a little out in front.

And now Clement it’s your turn to begin. You have 60 seconds to talk without hesitation, deviation or repetition on the subject of House Music…

 If you want any advice from me about weddings, read on 

If you’re looking for a DJ for a wedding or party on the Costa del Sol, then Tristan is your man.  Wedding planners and others said that he and I were similar in our approach and professionalism. He’s younger, better looking and cooler than me, but hey you can’t have everything… http://weddingdjmarbella.co.uk 

DJs like me can only do one Wedding a day, so to find other DJs contact Agents Mark Borrows at costadelparty.com and Paul Hart at marbellaentertainments.com

Wedding Planner Heather Sadtler at Fiesta Sol gave me my first Wedding booking in Spain. I’m grateful for that opportunity and the close working relationship that I had with Heather, Alex, Tara and the rest of the Fiesta Sol team. 

http://fiestasol.com

There’s other good suppliers in all areas of the wedding and party business here on the Costa del Sol.

There’s a few sharks, too. One Irish ‘Wedding Planner’ still owes me and many others for services she booked, but never paid for. She did a runner back to Ireland. She took deposits from brides and grooms knowing she was never going to deliver the events they were paying for. 

And there’s another, who’s not a joy to work for, or with, or use.   

If you’re looking for suppliers here, my advice is to go with recommendations if you can. Legitimate suppliers will be able to supply testimonials. Luckily in the internet age, there are plenty of places for you to find out more. 

My DJing Life down here on the Costa del Sol

In my DJing life in Spain, I played at many of the Costa del Sol’s biggest venues from Algeciras to Velez Malaga including Villa Padierna Palace, The Kempinski Hotel, Finca la Concepcion, Finca Cortesin, Puente Romano and the Don Pepe in Marbella. I played at many cortijos, golf clubs and bars in places like in Los Barrios, Castellar de la Frontera, Fuengirola, Benalmadena, Malaga and Cortijo Bravo in Velez Malaga.

I got a series of repeat bookings at inland venues including Hacienda San Rafael in Seville.

I DJed at Beach Clubs including Puro Beach, Nikki Beach, La Cabane, Tikitano, and smaller chiringuitos and bars from Sotogrande to Estepona, Marbella through to Rincon de la Victoria. I played at many villas and private houses too.

I’m Production Manager & Programme Supervisor at Talk Radio Europe. I produce a wide range of radio programmes and other audio.

All the photographers shown below are recommended because they were all good to work with.

 

Images courtesy of Anna Gazda at Limelight, Becky Sharpe at Becky Sharpe,  David Toms at David Toms Photography , Gary Tapp at Your Wedding MomentsJeremy Standley at Jeremy Standley Photography, Owen Farrell at Owen Farrell Photography